Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Evelyn's Birth Story


We bought our first home and moved in a month and a half before Evelyn's due date, so I was not eager for the baby to come early. I was so worried the baby would come before I had the house in order so I was extremely one-track-minded in full nesting mode trying to get everything unpacked and organized in the house. Once I finally got it *finished* enough, I checked out of that and started getting ready for the baby :)

We had some really nice evenings together in our last few weeks as a family of three - a movie night in our garage with the wood burning fire going, nice little family dinners and relaxing evenings, and lots of special moments with Rose and I. I was soaking in the last bit of one on one time with Rose and was all positive, thinking, "I'm in no rush, the baby can come whenever," thinking I was so much more patient this time around (haha...).



My tune changed dramatically as the due date approached. I started feeling like I was just going through the motions of life, staying home all the time and just waiting waiting waiting. I was also sick of being pregnant and a liiiittle bit grumpy and definitely impatient :). I just wanted to meet my little baby already!


I started having the odd uncomfortable contraction (or braxton hicks, or false contraction, whatever they're supposed to be called) around the time of my due date, and sometimes they would seem to be developing into a pattern and I would get my hopes up and would sometimes walk up and down the stairs in hopes they would continue, but they would always just fade off. I really wanted the baby to come before the long weekend so that Matt could have five days off with us instead of two, but as if I had any say in when the baby came :).



On Sunday of the long weekend we went to Matt's parents for dinner and while we were there I was feeling extra tired and was having the odd uncomfortable (and sometimes a bit painful) contraction. They were around twenty minutes apart, though, and had no consistency, so I didn't have my hopes up at all. We drove home, and as we sat in the car about to go into our house I had another pretty uncomfortable contraction. I mentioned to Matt that maybe we should have his two sisters stay the night just in case (so that they would be with Rose if we had to go to the hospital in the night), then changed my mind saying, "No, we might as well not, I'm sure this won't go anywhere just like all the other times." But Matt said we might as well since the girls wouldn't mind at all anyway, so we went back and picked them up.

I got things ready for them and we visited a bit while I ate a bunch of food, because in my labour with Rose I hadn't eaten since dinner the night before (she was born 3:45 pm) and they wouldn't let me eat or drink anything because they thought they might have to do an emergency c-section because of how much I was bleeding. I was so hungry throughout the whole labour and felt so weak because I was so hungry, so I was trying to eat as much as I could in case something did end up happening that night.

Sure enough (I was convinced this baby was never coming, dramatic I know), the contractions faded off once I was in bed, though, and I fell asleep. About an hour after I fell asleep I woke up to a painful contraction, though, and woke up Matt to tell him I was going to go in the shower because the hot water made these dumb fake contractions more bearable. At around 12:15 am I started timing them, and they were around three minutes apart and a minute long but there was the odd one that was a little further apart. I was told I should wait to go to the hospital until I had contractions that were 4 minutes apart for at least an hour, but once half an hour had passed they were getting painful and I told Matt I really didn't want to be driving in the car with contractions worse than this.

"We should just go now then," Matt said,

"But what if they send us home because it hasn't been an hour?"

We both just sat there for a second...

"I guess we could just say it's been an hour, close enough!" I said, and we started heading out the door.

We were able to leave Rose sleeping since Matt's sisters were there which was AMAZING.

We got to the hospital and got registered and went to a room, they got things set up and I was thinking, "Maybe this is actually happening!!!"

They checked how dilated I was and were surprised that I was already 7 cm dilated. They said the last few centimetres went by the quickest so it shouldn't be too long before the baby came (halleluiah). I mentioned that I was interested in labouring in the birthing pool (not delivering in it, you need to have a midwife to deliver in it, but to use it during labour because my friend Olivia had told me how much better it was). I think it's so cool that the hospital here offers that option! The nurse wasn't sure I would have much time to use it since it took a while to set up, but she asked the doctor and she said to go ahead and set it up anyway.

I couldn't sit or lie down through the labour which was the opposite of my experience with Rose, where I could barely manage to get out of the bed. I paced around the room and then the hall (I was the only mom giving birth in the whole hospital that night! The small town hospital experience was honestly so good), sipping on my favourite kind of vitamin water that I brought. It was cold and delicious.

The contractions steadily got more and more painful. I really focussed on not fighting the pain which was what my mom really drilled into my head as the most important thing to do during labour, to try to accept/embrace the pain, not fight it. I have these different things I say to myself during labour that really help me. They sound kind of funny but they really help me not just slip into despair about how incredibly painful and terrible it all is. Things like, "My body is bringing my baby to me," "I was made to do this," "I am strong enough to do this," "My body knows what it's doing," "I embrace the pain because it is bringing me my baby." Things like that. I am a big words person so it really helps me stay focused. Also praying throughout it (mostly desperate prayers about wanting it to go by quickly haha).

Eventually, the contractions became too painful for my mantras to keep me focussed and I was crying out in pain a bit and kind of crying/whimpering. Matt was so amazing being there for me, having him there supporting me and caring about me made me feel so much calmer and stronger.

They told me the birth pool was ready and that I could go in if I wanted, but that I had to come out when the baby was coming (apparently a lot of women don't want to get out and refuse to). I went in and the water was hot and the only way I can describe it was AMAZING. The pool was actually really big so I wasn't cramped at all, and the hot water combined with the lack of gravity was such a relief. Matt massaged my back which helped relieve a lot of pain as well. In between contractions I was able to completely relax whereas I had been in continuous pain while outside of the pool. I lay with my head on the side of the pool, so exhausted and relaxing between the next contraction. I asked the doctor if the pool could be slowing down my labour because I felt so much better and she said that my body relaxing could slow it down a little but the bit of rest was good for me. I cannot emphasize this enough - the pool was amazing! Not that I wasn't still in the most terrible pain of my life (excluding Rose's labour), but a million times better than not being in the pool.

After a little while in the pool I had some extremely painful contractions (in retrospect there was also a lot of pressure but I didn't realize it at the time, I wasn't even really aware of anything as the intensity of the pain completely took over my body). I said something about there being pressure (haha, well something to that effect at least... wink wink), not really knowing what was going on.

The doctor immediately said, "Okay Alicia, you have to get out of the pool, the baby is coming." Matt lifted me out and I got onto the bed and they checked and I was fully dilated, and the doctor said I could start pushing.

With Rose my experience of pushing was much more prolonged and systematic. I didn't even have a strong urge to push but wanted the baby out so badly. I pushed for 45 minutes with Rose and they showed me how to position myself and would count with me while I pushed as hard as I could, three times per contraction.

With this baby I was frantically asking the doctor what I was supposed to do, and it all felt way more chaotic. On the first push it was like a water balloon popped and water sprayed out, which was my water breaking. I pushed as hard as I could and she said the head was right there, and I could reach down and feel it if I wanted, which I did. None of it felt systematic or in control, and I pushed as hard as I could again and screamed out because the pain was so incredibly intense, I think I was pushing too hard. The doctor said something about pushing like I was blowing out a candle, small pushes, but in my frantic in-pain state I didn't get what the heck "Like blowing out a candle," meant. I tried to push less intensely though. With Rose I would push as hard as I could and barely anything would happen so this was totally new! The head was out but the baby wasn't crying, I was asking, "Is the baby okay?" in this crazy blur and the doctor said babies don't cry until they're all the way out (is that true or was she trying to make me feel better?).

"You're almost there Alicia, the baby is almost out," Matt said, and a few more pushes and they put the baby on my chest.

"It's a girl Alicia, it's a girl!" Matt said beside me, and I kept saying, "I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I love her so much, I love her so much." I felt such intense love well up in me for the little squishy bundle lying on my chest. Another little girl, I was so happy!

She was so warm and sweet, childbirth is really such a miracle.


I had her at 2:23 am, so only and hour and a half after I got to the hospital, and only about 2 hours after I started timing the contractions. I also only pushed for 7 minutes. I couldn't believe it had been that fast when they told me! She was 7 lbs 14 oz which seemed so small since Rose was 8 lbs 12 oz and I assumed all my babies would be around the same size. I think she looks a lot like Rose did right in the beginning though!

I told the doctor I was scared to deliver the placenta and she said I shouldn't be, and I had to get a few stitches and I absolutely hate stitches so I was freaking out about that too. It's weird that in a way I was more scared for those stitches than for the labour itself (bizarre). But at least I finally had my baby with me.



We named her Evelyn Shelli Therese McCallum. We had decided on the name Evelyn only about a month before she was born, it was a name Matt always had liked and the place we seem to agree on names is old-fashioned ones (you know you have a theme going when a regular response to your kids' names is, "Oh that's my grandmas name!" I love it haha). I liked it because it's old-fashioned and feminine, and Matt said, "Evelyn is a name you would just grow to love so much," and it's true. It also goes so well with Rose. We made her middle name Shelli after Matt's wonderful mom, and Therese because I wanted a saint in her name and I just finished an awesome book about St. Therese of Lisieux and she is one of my favourite saints, I find her incredibly inspiring and amazing and I love that Evelyn will have that connection to her amazing Grandma and that amazing saint.



Thank you thank you thank you God for giving us our little Evelyn. We love her so much.

Here is Rose's Birth Story if you'd like to read it.





(Thanks Monica for these beautiful newborn photos!)

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